Saturday, April 25, 2009

Saturday=Good Day

Today was a wonderfully normal day. Pablo ran around snapping his cowboy guys an counting his loot. He hooted and hollered and jumped and skipped all over the house. I get a kick out of listening to him.

We had a few guests—Francine, Rachel+Clint+Jonah. I was pretty doped up much of the morning and early afternoon. Jo Ann and Dean sat me down and told me they were scared at my zombie-fied state and the unpleasant attitude that was coming along with it. Jo Ann told me she was scared that I was having a nervous breakdown. When she said 'scared' she looked scared. There was not a metaphor in the room when the words came out of her mouth. I thought really hard about whether I was having a breakdown. I had no idea. I sat and stared at them and told them I had no idea what they were talking about. I really didn't. But I knew enough to know they weren't making it up. And although I have a great deal of experience in being a jerk, I do not have much current experience with my behavior toward other people when I'm on drugs. So I shut up and listened and let them mirror my behavior back to me. It felt like a giant mess. I was so doped up I couldn't even cry. Just thinking about it sickens me. But it's over.

After that tough love convo, they took Pablo to Larchmont to buy toys, and I stayed home to meet my new acupuncturist Alison King. She was amazing, compassionate, interested in my pain and recovery. The needles didn't freak me out. They couldn't. The pain is too great to worry about a few little needles. Because I can't lay down or sit down, I leaned against the railing on the back deck and she popped needles in my shoulders and hands. Tomorrow, we are going to venture into sticking my back near the affected area.

After that we went to see Peter and Brie and Lennon. We were on the way to dinner at John and Shana and Jesse and Jake's house. Peter's family from Palo Alto are in town. His parents Irv and Sukie, his sister Anne and her husband Horacio and their boys were all up in the house. It was great to see all of them. We've felt their love and support from afar for the past year (it's been that long since we've seen them) and it was nice to feel it in person.

John and Shana made a delicious dinner of farmers market goodies, and home made lemon ice cream sandwiches for dessert. Damn, I could go for one right now. The conversation ranged from John's busted up ankle (skateboarding accident) to a bunch of other topics that I can't recall cos I was standing, in pain, trying to find a way to sit down. After 90 minutes of trying, I found a chair in their den that didn't put me into excruciating pain. Dean moved it into the kitchen and I joined the party.

Pablo and Jesse and Jake kicked it hard core, playing with stuffed animals, looking at J+J's hamster and watching 'Yellow Submarine.' It was nice to see Pablo playing an running around.

Pablo's Monday surgery hangs heavy in our minds. Of course it does. We are in no-holds-barred territory here. Dr Mascarenhas is with us every step of the way, and is in communication regarding Pablo's latest scans with all the leading oncologists and researchers around the world. He has told us from day one that he is open to such collaboration. Today we are standing at ground zero—that statement is no longer a theory, it's a reality. Dr M has been in contact with us, by email or by phone, mulitple times a day. We love him. His quest for the best treatment of our son is unlike anything we've ever seen or heard of. He even reviewed my shoulder and back MRIs this evening and called to discuss them.

Sunday, we are planning to go to the KidRockers show at the Echo on Sunset Boulevard. Sounds like a lot of our friends are bringing their kids to the show. If Pablo's up for it, it'll be a lotta fun.

Good night.


Sara said...


I hope you feel better soon. I'm so sorry your body is in so much pain. We will be thinking of you all tomorrow and wish you nothing but kick ass results.

Sara, Nick, Simon and Cheyenne

P.S. Have a great time today!

Heather said...

Thinking of you all constantly.Wishing the pain in your bodies as well as your hearts, would find it's way gone.I will be praying for that.Zoey and I are there tomorrow for labs and possible admit.We will try and track you down.To give you a hug ... yours ever so gently Jeff and Jo Ann,a great big suck the breath out of you one.Till then know that we love you guys.

Emma G. Guanlao said...

Hi Jeff and Jo Ann
Dong and I do understand what you both are undergoing in your family life with Pablo. We had a similar situation with our youngest daughter 29 years ago. When the pediatrician told us that she wont be able to reach school age or her teen years, we were devastated and our life suddenly was upside down. The first three years of her life were spent mostly in the hospital because of a total of five surgeries and several medical complications. Although our life then was like a roller coaster and we were like in a constant marathon, we ignored the constant reminders of the specialists that she would not last in this world. We did not believe in the statistics and the predictions of the "wanna be god doctors". Now she is a beautiful (both inside and out) 29 year-old lady who is making a difference in the community in her own ways. To some, she is not perfect because of her disabilities (sustained from several complications of her illness)but for us her family, she gives us the "shining light" that brightens our days.
Jeff, you are absolutely right about thinking only positive and avoiding the dark side.We should be concentrating more on love, faith and hope to be transmitted to Pablo in order for him, together with us to conquer the darkness of cancer and other illnesses. We should also believe that as parents we are given a special healing power from the Supreme Being Who is love, who only knows the positive and who is very generous. Jo Ann continue to visualize removing those dark spots of cancer in all his organs of his body.

It is okay too to be angry, hateful, resentful during moments like this, God is very understanding and forgiving.

Dong, Catarina and I do pray every night before Catarina goes to sleep and you can be assured that Pablo and his family will be included in our prayers;we will pray that you be given a miracle.

With all our love, prayers and sincerity
(Christopher's parents)