Thursday, April 23, 2009

Listen Up: We Have A Message For You

A photo from last summer that illustrates Pablo's message for cancer today: He's got the power and he's gonna win!

We are not gonna take this sitting down. F*** that.

After 48 hours of sorrow and confusion and walking into walls we have jumped off the Pity Express. It hurt when we hit the ground and tumbled to a stop. We held Pablo in our arms to protect him from the impact. When we opened our eyes, we were OK. The sun was shining on us. The air was calm and warm and nurturing. We were safe. We are safe.

As we stood up, we realized that we'd landed on a safety net made up of two thousand arms from a thousand friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, and people we don't even know who've found us on the net or through friends of friends. To feel supported and saved—a miracle. To know with every cell in our bodies that nothing can stop us—NOTHING—a miracle.

We have the baddest, toughest, most lethal goddamn gang anyone's ever seen. Nobody's gonna let Pablo get hurt. We're at the front of the line, chains and bats in hand. Pablo has a cowboy gun belt, a holster on each hip, two shiny silver guns, a pair of handcuffs and a pair of shackles. He ain't bringing no recycled butter knife to a gunfight. Look at that kid. He's armed up to the teeth. Look around—everyone's here: Jo Ann, Grady, Polly, Jimmy, me, Peter + Brie, Dean, Matt, Adam, Hrishi, Ben, Acacia, Francine, Dorrie, Sean, John + Shana, Rachel + Clint, Helen, JMJ + Corrine, Tony + Joanna, Dr Mascarenhas, Dr Marcio, Dr Stein, Dr Austin, Doug Ulman and the Lance Armstrong Foundation crew...the list goes on and on. And the list includes YOU and YOU and YOU and YOU. Thousands of YOU, all over the world. Who nations reprezentin? Check this: Antwerp, Paris, Berlin, Sacto, Sydney, Toronto, Montreal, Melbourne, Manchester, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Madison, New Orleans, Chicago, SF, Seattle, Philly + Portland, Toyko, Albuquerque, Dublin, Jersey—and not one, but all five boroughs of the NYC.

Our gang is so big we're organized in battalions—neatly formed lines, ready for action. The brain power at our disposal is unmatchable. Our collective soul power is radiating heat that would scare the sun into a permanent eclipse. We are vulnerable, emotional, authentic cos we know that those are the three main ingredients to actual human interaction. Everything else is for everyone else.

That said, we are a peaceful gang. We have only one mortal enemy—the unfair + unjust + invisible outlaw known by the name of CANCER. When it comes to this conflict, we shoot to kill. But the first tool in our arsenal is not a gun or a bat or a knife. What we got is far more powerful than some man-made fighting device. We laugh in the face of such crude objects. Our weapon of choice is comprised of love, intention, collective consciousness, action, connection, truth, authenticity....

And we have a special protocol to wake these inert elements, to make them actionable. In order to explain this protocol, I have a short story to tell.

The other day, I was chatting with Cliff Burnstein, one of Silversun Pickups' managers. We were talking about our shared ethos in biz and in life. We hit on a wonderful term that fits into the Pablove story so perfectly that I'm compelled to share it here. Cliff told me about a friend of his, a high-end business guru. This man has a maxim that he teaches his people—something that sits at the top of the list of all the cliches and easy-to-remember sayings that most people walk around saying. It's a maxim that, lo and behold, Cliff and I live by. And it's a maxim that WE (as in you + us) have all been living for the past 11 months and six days. Wanna know what it is? It's pretty intense, so get ready.... Ready?

Here you go:

Actually F***ing Do It.

A.F.D.I.—pretty easy to remember, huh? That's our secret protocol.

In order to live in the world of A.F.D.I., you have to live by one simple rule: stop talking about s**t and DO IT. Very simple. Very rare.

In the world of Pablove, at this very moment, we all have to put our AFDI into high gear. We have to turn our hearts and our minds and our bodies to contribute to our lives, the lives of others, and to goodness in every shape and every form. We all contribute to hope and possibility and kinetic positivity by suiting up and showing up, ready for action.

Part of my AFDI is to say that we are throwing a couple things in the toilet, right now.

The first thing to go is NUMBERS, statistics, predictions, and all that. The only number we're living by is 1—as in one day at a time, one moment at a time, one thing at a time, one simple action makes a long-term, huge difference. Now is another form on one. Now is the only thing that we can truly affect in life. So let's cut the fat and focus on now.

The second thing that's going down the hatch is darkness. My last post was filled with fear, sorrow, doom and gloom, all of which thrive in darkness. That's not me. It's just where I was in the hours following the news. But I am done with it, and Jo Ann won't have it. So it's done: no more darkness. Not from me, not from you. The only comments we want to see on the blog are words of Love and Hope and Dreams. Not that we're censoring you, but yknow what I mean.

Enough about that stuff.

Here's the latest: I am standing at the front desk of the MRI/CT department at CHLA. My laptop is on the counter. It's the perfect height for me—can't sit down, can't bend forward. My back is not happy. I have what's called a transverse function fracture. Adam drove me to my first physical therapy appointment today. It hurt, but it made me feel like I was doing something to get the recovery show on the road. The PT, Joy Torbett, is a friend of my cycling coach, Rick Babington, so we were fast friends. Adam sat with me as I wept in pain and helped me when I needed it.

Jo Ann just walked out of the MRI lab. After three hours of waiting, Pablo is knocked out, in the giant MRI machine having his brain scanned. He hasn't been able to eat all day. He did not like that. When he gets out, he gets to choose where he wants to eat, anywhere in LA. Grady and Jo Ann fasted with him. I can't cos I need the nutrition to heal.

Uncle Dean arrived this morning. I was sitting in my Lazy Boy in our bedroom, and suddenly Dean was standing in front of me. So cool! Our army is getting stronger.

Tomorrow morning at 9:30 a.m. we are due back at CHLA for Pablo's bone scan. And at 9:45 a.m., CHLA radiology department will have a special patient: ME! While we were waiting for Pablo's MRI to go down, one of Dr M's colleagues, Dr Marcio, stopped by to say Hello. He is part of Team Pablo—he's become a good friend, and is one of the world authorities of Wilms' Tumor. He's also a cyclist, so I filled him in on my crash. I asked him, half-jokingly, if there was any way for me to get my MRI here at CHLA. I offered to pay cash, whatever—anything to not have another hours-long medical appointment in creepy Beverly Hills. To my surprise, he said, 'Let me go and talk to someone.' A few minutes later, he introduced me to the head of radiology, who gave me the green light. So Friday morning, I will don a CHLA gown (and will probably look like David Lee Roth in his assless chaps), and have my brain, shoulder, and spine scanned. The whole thing will take two hours. I'll get to bring a DVD and watch it in these super cool virtual reality-style goggles.

We're in the recovery room with Pablo now. He is still asleep. He looks so precious, so cute. And we can see his new adult front tooth perfectly. Homie better wake up soon—I think Grady's about to eat a Styrofoam cup!

More later....


SteveAudio said...

Best news I've had all day! Actually F***in' Do It!

Heaps of good energy and wishes going your way now, from my wife Pam & I.

JT Griffith said...


Heather said...

Heather,Zoey and crew here, suiting up as part of team:A.F.D.I. Privileged to be part of it my friends.Honored to say the least.We come armed as well with faith,hope,perseverance for the long haul and whatever else you need us to saddle up with.That beacon is shining bright,glaring and blinding and going nowhere.Eat,rest and dwell in the beauty of each other and the amazing friends that encircle you and know we are here.Love to you all.

Chip and Erin said...

One of the most inspirational writings we have read in a long, long time. Dbird Austin is on board with AFDI! YES!!!!!!!

Chip & Erin

Bruce Dundore said...

Balling my fists, clenching my teeth, ready to smack the CAN-ass back to its cave. Maria's gonna send a bright and protecting whammy Pablo's way.

Tiwanna said...

A.F.D.I.! LOVE IT! I think I'm getting a shirt with that on it for my 5K. :D

Hell YES!! This is by far your best post. Let's thow everything we got at this enemy called CANCER. Pablo's Army is Strong just like Mr. Pablo himself.

Good luck with your PT.

Best of EVERYTHING to you guys.

Kat Sambor said...

F YES!!! Couldn't agree more. Let's fight it! Never give up.
We are here for you <3

Anonymous said...

You guys are awesome -- I love the new fighting spirit and energy. But I just want to know one thing: is that CHLA gown gonna cover your ass, or will it be sized for a 5 year old? :-)


Brian said...

Aye aye, Captain. I'm in. Just tell me if you need me to do something and I will do it. FUCK Cancer, Hail Pablo! brian

Steve G said...

Pablo looks like Ian MacKaye in the photo. Circa Minor Threat...

I'd say he looks ready to kick this s**t.

From Brooklyn to Silverlake: We're with ya.

Treed said...


Unknown said...

Ready to kick some cancer a**!! What an inspirational, electric piece of writing. We are proud to be part of the Pablo army of love and light!!!!

Love always,
Lynn Bruce Claire & Colin

beth said...


Anonymous said...

Totally on board over here! LET'S GO!!!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE TO ALL!

Team Foley
Stephanie, Pete, Charlotte, Oona, Roddy and Josephine

Anonymous said...

Good to hear the fight in you - FUCK CANCER!! Pablo is so much better than that! Stay strong and keep us posted -

Kat Deloian

Anonymous said...

A wonderful I've said before there will be no room for anything less than a miracle. That is what will show up for us, that's how we're gonna have it go down. It's rally time & we're on the winning side.

Thanks for the inspiration!

Brian on his way in to CHLA tomorrow to represent for Team Kastner!

We love you guys,

Adam Paul said...

I'm crying with inspiration, dudes!

Anonymous said...

Now, this is the Castelaz family I have gotten to know through your blog. This spirit of hope is exactly what is needed. Please know that our prayers are added to the many. I just wish we were closer...I feel a real need to give Pablo a hug!

Carrie, Emma, Garrett, and Darrell

Anonymous said...

AFDI forever. D%^& right!


Doug & Sarah

Anonymous said...

I believe.
Love, Elisabeth

MKPatrick said...

Collective consciousness to the max. We're in.
Mary Kay, Matthew, Luke & Amelia

Anonymous said...

A.F.D.I.!! Great motto to live by! Positive vibes your way. Go Pablo!

Troy said...

AFDIM as we say down here. 'Actually F***ing Do It MATE. We're with you. Troy & family x

Jennifer said...

So awesome. So perfectly put. So raw. So exquisite. I have thought nothing of you all for months and especially since Tuesday's post and want nothing more than the attainable possibilities for your beautiful boy. My heart thrives on these possibilities and will not stop at anything short of hope and love and miracles and light and health. What an inspiring and altogether gathering post. A.F.D.I.!

Stephanie said...

You sound good today. Add Rhode Island to that long list, we're small but mighty and ready to fight and to A.F.D.I. All our love and prayers, Stephanie and Family

Anonymous said...

A.F.D.I. - Hell yeah! Let's kick some cancer butt!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Jeff,

My friend Innesa Lagen is headed down to Brazil on 5/2 to visit Joae de Deus at the Casa de Dom Inacio de Loyola. (Named after the founder of the Jesuits.) With your permission, she would like to bring a picture of Pablo to the casa for healing. Joae is known as the "Miracle Man of Brazil."

Can't hurt, might help....let me know if it's not OK, otherwise I'll
pull a picture off pablog and send it to Innesa.

Love to all, Jenefer (

Tamara Milagros-Butler said...

What ISN'T possible when you have the whole AFDI crew behind and beside and within you?! NUTHIN'!! AND, Pablo, JoAnn, Jeff and Grady, that mind-boggling power is even MORE intensified when you have a CRAZY PUERTO RICAN CHIC whose middle name is (quite literally) MIRACLE on the front lines with you guys!!!! Honored to be here. I have implemented a mantra in my heart, in my mind, in my body that is whispering every minute, every hour to the universe "Pablo ALREADY IS a miracle...Pablo ALREADY IS a miracle...Pablo ALREADY IS a miracle...MORE MIRACLES TO COME...MORE MIRACLES TO COME...MORE MIRACLES TO COME." We love you guys - Tamara, Jim and James Reed

Alex romero said...

AFDI - all the way down from mexico city

Tatiana said...

That's so rad!! Create a domino effect of healing!

I have a tiny 4 letter acronym tatted on my thumb: SDBP - which is
Slow Down Be Patient

I've been trying to find another acronym for my other thumb and I think AFDI is it!

Laurie said...

We are friends of Susan in Chicago and send you are thoughts, prayers and positive energy. You do not walk alone. Rich & Laurie

Jules said...

Austin's got your back - AFDI!

Springer Love! said...

Pablove has Cleveland and the entire state F*$KING of Ohio!