Thursday, December 24, 2009
I just miss my son. Badly. Deeply.
A year ago today, our house was filled with hope and joy and gratitude. Most of all, it was filled with Pablo. And his five-year-old Xmas excitement. Today couldn't be more different.
Here's my post from last Christmas Eve. The brightness in Pablo's eyes might just be the perfect antidote to how low I'm feeling today.
We're flying to New Orleans tomorrow—our first family trip to Jo Ann's hometown in over two years. Another first. We'll be surrounded by family and friends. In fact, we're staying with Gretchen and Jon Drennan and their three kids. So we'll have no choice but to mix it up and keep our heads above water.
I'm wishing you a happy holiday season. Whatever you celebrate, we wish you all the best. Please hold Pablo in your heart tonight and tomorrow!
Monday, December 7, 2009
I am tired from a hard week at the office and from yesterday's 20K time trial on the bike. I am came in third place at the race. Gave it all I had, and then a bit more. And, boy, do I feel it today. Didn't feel this tweaked at any point during Pablove Across America. I think it has to do with the fact that, waking up this morning, I have no major goals in front of me for the rest of the year. What a f***ing relief.
My focus for the next three weeks is family—Jo Ann and Grady and our extended family and friends. But mainly Jo Ann and Grady. Everyone says that the holidays are the hardest part when you lose someone—a child—and I know this must be true. So far, every day has been what I'd characterize as 'hard.' A deep, dull sadness swells up inside me seeing Christmas-themed decorations and trees and Santa stuff all over town. I breathe in, I breathe out and I think of how happy Pablo was this time last year. I remember how happy Pablo was all the time. What else can I do?
As you can tell from the infrequency of my posts since returning from the road, my writing is slowing down. Riding across the United States for six weeks, and racing yesterday makes the words 'slowing' and 'down' seem very attractive. For the past 18 months, there's been something to say every day, so I've posted every day. Lately, when I get that writing feeling, I put it into my book proposal. That's now finished and out to publishers, and I'm still not compelled to write blog posts every day. I want a quieter life for now. I will continue to post, but far less frequently.
Gratitude: I appreciate the time you've given to the Pablog, and how you've passed it on to friends and folks in your own blogospheres. You are our community, and the Pablog is our meeting ground. Thank you. I'll see you soon. Very soon.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Good morning. It's been a long time. We turned the Pablog into a television station for the past seven weeks. It was fun to speak and not spell all my thoughts and feelings. Mostly because I knew the writing would recommence right about now. So, here I am, sitting in the living room, where I was a year ago on this day, with my laptop in my lap. A year ago, the early morning sounds of Pablo filled the air: his footsteps as he ran up the stairs to find me, his voice speaking to me, the escalating melody sound the television makes as it fires up, and, of course, the start of an episode of 'Sponge Bob' and the inevitable request from the TV room, 'Papa, I'm hunnnnnnnnngryyyyyyy!'
Thursday, November 26, 2009
As I rode across America, I told anyone who asked about Pablo: what he was like, what he taught me, how he endured his cancer treatment with grace and smiles. I am grateful for the six years and six days Pablo shared with us. And for the memories of Pablo that flood my brain every second of every day.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Our friend Stephanie has a great boutique in Brooklyn...or online here: http://www.noisettenyc.com/
To celebrate the anniversary of her store she is holding a 2 day sale. All merchandise is 20% off with a percentage of the proceeds coming to PABLOVE!
I just ordered the plaid tunic and a black belt! The merchandise is fabulous and prices are incredibly reasonable...so go check it out!
And please forward to your fashionista friends!
Coupon Code: pablove
- Jo Ann
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Here are the video updates from Day Three! Three down, twenty-seven to go...
ps. Jeff is taking over filming duties until Saturday - don't worry if the videos aren't posted as frequently... we never know how the internet's gonna be when we roll into each city.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Greetings from Gainesville! We wanted to share with you the Video Blogs we've done up to this point (the last three days worth), presented here in chronological order. From here out, we'll upload each video as they go up, so it'll be one vlog per post.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
On a more superficial level, my favorite moment with Drew was when he told me off the air that he saw Van Halen play a dance in the early '70s at Grady's school, St Francis. Kills me. Why did I have to be born so late?
I was excited when Jo Ann said she'd come with me to the 'Loveline' studio. The show is on from 10 to midnight, which put it in the red zone for Jo Ann's schedule. We left the intimate Pablove Across America kick off party at Dangerbird HQ and headed to Culver City for dinner. At the studio, we chatted with Drew for half an hour before going on air. We told him how we'd met on a music video project for an artist that was on Grand Royal Records; their offices were directly across the street from Drew's studio. He got a kick out of the symmetry.
Brian Aubert from Silversun Pickups joined the show via phone from Hilton Head, SC. His ability to capture complex emotion in a single sentence blows me away. 'Loveline' has been on the air since 1983. Last night was the first time they'd dedicated a show to cancer. After the show, the producer, Ann, told us they weren't sure how their audience would receive the topic. Turns out the phones blew up the entire time the lines were open. The calls that got through proved that the cancer conversation is ready to happen - that people w a n t and. n e e d a place to open the dialogue. I was honored and proud to share this incredible experience of bringing with Brian.
I felt Jo Ann's love as she sat on the sofa behind me with headphones over her skull; every time I looked over at her for support and strength, her eyes shot both straight at me. Talking to young people about cancer was not easy. Listening to a mother - who was on break at her job - calling in to talk about losing her son to a brain tumor was not easy.
Being of service by giving feedback, that was easy. It's important to me to give away what I got. My experience is mine, sure. But it's useless if I keep it to myself.
Our friend Rob Goldklang, a radio promotion exec from Warner Bros Records, was also with us. He has dedicated himself to helping the Pablove Foundation in any way. He and Dangerbird GM Matt Solodky have been hammering the Pablove auction scene. Rob also set up the 'Loveline' appearance. His heart connection to Pablove was clear to Drew and Ann, and that got the job done.
It was a great night, and a unique experience to be behind the mic. It was also the single biggest media hit The Pablove Foundation has ever had. 'Loveline' is syndicated to 60 stations around North America, and has thousands of listeners online. In 60 minutes, the mission and message of the foundation hit hundreds of thousands of ears all across the U.S. And that was worth staying up late for.
Next stop: St Augustine, Florida.