Monday, June 29, 2009

Today...And Tomorrow

Our lives today are so full of family and friends and love and laughter. And in between sobs and darkness. And then the sun comes around again and all is OK. Until one of us—somewhere across the house—falls into a weep or a cry or drifts ever so softly into a spell of Pablo memory. And then, elsewhere in the house, laughter (usually Jo Ann's) fills the house again.

This is our lives, today. We accept it. We are on a roller coaster. It's not the same one we've been on for the past 13 months. It's the one right next door.

Me, I can't shake wondering if Pablo was lonely as his soul and spirit started to tear itself out of that body of his, that shell that the spirit utilized for six years and six days. Or if P felt like, 'What the heck's going on here? Are these guys letting me go somewhere scary all alone?' But that's only when I start to drift. The answer to this question is: there is no answer. The only way to know is when you go. And when you go, you will no longer need to know.

Today, we went to Forest Lawn and picked out a final resting place for Pablo. We got enough room for our whole family to be buried with him. Jo Ann homed in on this spot with absolute clarity. She stood there and pointed out all the wonderful things about it. Then we all sat down and meditated on the site. And we all agreed: it was perfect for Pablo.

With that sorted, we picked out Pablo's casket and sorted out all the details. We did all of this with help and support and loving hand holding from Peter and Brie, Dean, and our amazing friends Rachel and Clint Lukens. It's amazing how friendships propel us through life: if it weren't for Rachel, I'd still be living in Milwaukee, and there would be no Pablo.

You'll see the fruit of today's loving labors at the funeral on Wednesday. We know you'll love it all as much as we do. Pablo's grave site has a panoramic view of the mountains above Burbank and Glendale. You can see it perfectly from Trash Truck Hill, the Griffith Park road me and my friends ride up all the time. And it's right under a young tree. There's a wall a few feet away—perfect for P to do Geronimo! jumps off of ANY time he wants. And there's plenty of places to hide and play. Jo Ann

Oh, and after we left, Jo Ann realized Pablo's grave is in—get this!—Lincoln terrace. As in Abraham Lincoln. There's a huge statue of him about 40 yards away. So Pablo can compare notes on top hats with the O.G. top hatter for years to come....

We are sooooooo looking forward to CELEBRATING PABLO with you all tomorrow. The memorial starts at 5:30 p.m. at Descanso Gardens in La Canada. We want to shoot light so bright into the sky for our heroic little boy. Bring your family, your children, your hearts and your glasses. We have some amazing Pablo visuals for you, a little live music, of course, plenty of speakers to re-illustrate Pablo's life. The evening will be hosted by Harry Moffett's dad Don.

14 comments:

Go Nicole Yourself said...

I really want to come to the memorial tomorrow but sadly, am unable to. Instead, I will stop sometime around 5:30pm to send my own little prayer up to P. Thank you so much for continuing to share all of this with your readers.

Anne said...

My thoughts and prayers are with Pablo's family and friends. When Pablo does compare notes about top hats with Abraham Lincoln, I'm sure this quote will come across: "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Anonymous said...

while some of us in the far reaches of the world cannot be there with you today, we will be there in spirit. pablo, your family and loved ones have been in my thoughts for weeks now. you will have my attn at 530pacific today.

Anonymous said...

Jo Ann, I understand the fear as a mom, that Pablo felt scared or alone - I'm sure he felt pure Love and Bliss, as he returned to that state, of being purely Spirit. I'm sure he wants you to know, that he is now Love. And, I can't be there tonight - but will be at the service on Wednesday. Love to you all - Carolyn R.

Christopher Foley said...

Jeff and Jo Ann- It sounds like a beautiful spot. I am happy to hear you will all be able to be together when the time comes. Stay focused on all the good things you have. Namely each other. Your pain is soooooo intense now, but at least it is not wrapped in the dysfunction of days past (think MKE basements circa '77).

You have been given incredible gifts.

Your wife, your son Grady, and your loving son P.

I am so sorry you all had to have him taken so young. He is NOT alone right now. And neither are any of you. Know that. Have faith in it.

Love,

Chris

Dolly Duplantier said...

Jeff and Jo Ann, you spoke about whether or not Pablo's soul would be lonely. About 14 years ago, 2 of my friends passed away. They were very young and I searched for meaning in their untimely deaths. I believe firmly that they are the angels to guide and protect beautiful young souls like Pablo's. They were engaged and in their early 20's. They loved kids and spent a lot of time with my oldest son, Austin. I know they are with Pablo. Alisa and Paul are with him and he is not lonely are scared, but safe and protected and free from pain.

Dolly Duplantier said...

Jeff, you spoke about whether or not Pablo's soul would be lonely. About 14 years ago, 2 of my friends passed away. They were very young and I searched for meaning in their untimely deaths. I believe firmly that they are the angels to guide and protect beautiful young souls like Pablo's. They were engaged and in their early 20's. They loved kids and spent a lot of time with my oldest son, Austin. I know they are with Pablo. Alisa and Paul are with him and he is not lonely are scared, but safe and protected and free from pain.

jessica brooke said...

my heart is so full of love for you and your family right now. Pablo is wrapped in a blanket of love and light where he is, safe and pure in spirit, he will forever be watching over you all.

stephdel said...

We are celebrating with our hearts at this moment, all our love and thoughts are with you. Sadly we couldn't make it, but we hope to one day come visit him at the amazing forest lawn cemetery.
Evan and i are about to go on our wedding trip...we hoped until the last months that you could all come and celebrate with us, i wish one day we can all celebrate the happiest moments of Pablo's life together!
love
stephanie and Evan

Heather said...

Thinking of your family and of Pablo and of all the people supporting you and celebrating Pablo at this very moment at the memorial. Love and peace coming your way from our family to yours.

Kevin said...

....unable to join you at the memorial, but we are thinking of all of you, sending you our heartfelt prayers. We have lit a candle in our home for sweet Pablo tonight, bless you all. oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Hungry Child said...

There's no way that Pablo was alone! He was escorted by angels...lonely is not a part of his new existence. I truly believe that he is in the loving hands of our Heavenly Father, and he is of complete clarity, complete fullness, and so grateful to have such an amazing family to have loved him through his life on earth...and he is helping to prepare a place for you all to come to. Whether or not you believe in the Bible...it says that we will be known as we were known...what a beautiful thought. He will see you again, and he will call you Daddy, Momma, big brother, friend...all of it. God has him...he is the opposite of alone.

Lani said...

Michelle Naranjo, told me about Pablo many months ago and he has always been in my prayers along with your entire family. She told me tonight that he had entered heaven and I will continue my prayers for your family as you carry on.

I saw that you would like to know the significance of deer as far as life so I looked up an old sermon of my father's and he wrote: In China the deer is a symbol of good fortune and happiness and its name in Chinese is the same as for the word abundance. In Native Americans it was a custom to follow a deer while it was grazing since it would lead them to the herbs that were necessary as drugs as well as food and thus the deer became a symbol of deeper treasures inside of ones self. They are very powerful spiritual beings since they feed and clothe us.

Praying for your spiritual peace and for love to surround you tomorrow,
Lani

Anonymous said...

I think they call it slipping away as that is the sensation. Many have yelled out to loved ones in that final breath (I have an in-law that died and was revived and that was his perception of it, my godmother called out to her husband etc.) I would think it is much like being born in reverse......but none the less I asked my dearest sister-friend Donna to look out for Pablo too. She's my child's godmother (and all love too) now in heaven, who also passed by a rare form of cancer. His pure, good and gentle spirit will be surrounded by many others of his kind. ~Cindi