HAPPY BIRTHDAY PABLO!

Francine McDougall's portrait of newborn Pablo.

A lot has changed since June 21 2003. For a start Pablo isn't here! The little dude jumped at the chance to do a sleepover at his grandparents' hotel downtown. So, this is officially the first birthday he hasn't woken up with us. It's fine by us—we're kickin it, sampling the bday cupcakes in bed. (Seriously.) We could never do that in front of Pablo or Grady, cos it's against the rules to eat on this floor of our house. But with the kiddies away...who needs rulezzzz?

When P left last night, something about him actually seemed older. It wasn't his voice. His voice has always been pretty deep. It's his face, which looks more developed, and the right front tooth that's nearly halfway in. And when I held him in my arms yesterday he felt lankier. If I remember Tuesday's triage check-in correctly, P is now 113 or 114cm, so he is getting bigger. Anyway, it was cool to see something different in him yesterday, the day before his official year-flipping.

I also want to wish all of you baby daddies out there a happy father's day. Being a dad is the best thing that ever happened to me. Any dad I've ever spoken to about this agrees. To be frank, I am still kind of shocked about being a papa—like, 'Do they know who they gave the keys to?' I've never felt like I didn't know what to do. It's just that I still feel like a teenager, and I can't believe how lucky I've gotten in my life—to be able to feel (and often act) like a kid, and actually be an adult, responsible for a pair of young Earthlings.

Every day is a special day around here. I am not going to get real deep here (mostly cos I have to run to get a jug of coffee for our park expedition), but I will say that the combination of Pablo's sixth birthday and father's day magnifies the sweetness and the reality that we are in. Like every moment of every day for us, there is a magnified sense of preciousness, of fragility, of the importance of the small stuff. It'd be this way no matter what. But with the two highest holidays of the year (haha) laying over one another, we have a rare moment to look deeper. Today, really, is a total eclipse of the heart.