Dear Family and Friends,
I have had such an emotional week. I know doing that cleanse didn't help because I was hungry, but just LIFE has been difficult for me this week. I have been scouring for information regarding Pablo's treatment, trying to find out if it's "normal" for his counts to take this long to recover... and what does that mean in the grand scheme of things? I'm in such a positive, optimistic and peaceful place with Pablo's journey right now, but something is digging at me and I can't identify it. I'm constantly questioning whether or not what I am doing it correct. Do I know everything I need to know? Can he ride the train at Griffith Park? Can we have a friend over for a couple of hours? Can we go to the gelato shop? Obviously, Pablo's health and safety are our primary concern, but the poor kid has been under house arrest for MONTHS now and there are days when he appears downright depressed. It's the second most difficult thing to witness (first is seeing him in any kind of physical pain). Anyway. I am really trying to focus on all of the things that I am grateful for at the moment. And that list is crazy long, so I won't bore you.
As most of you know, I have been praying a lot since all of this started back in May. Like I've posted before - I've never stopped praying, I just stopped practicing in an organized way and questioned a lot. Now, I just pray... like crazy... for my baby. For my new friends' babies. For total strangers' babies that are currently being treated or have completed treatment but are still at risk. I just do it and it feels good.
I know a lot of you that read this blog are incredibly spiritual and everyone has their own practice. I'm begging all of you to put a special little boy at the top of your list alongside Pablo (that I know you continue to hold). His name is Luke and we met him on 4 West at CHLA. He is beautiful and was diagnosed with high risk Neuroblastoma a few months ago. His family is strong and courageous and inspiring and right now, in need of prayers.
I know I don't contribute to the blog much, but I am forever grateful to all of you for your support and love and thoughts and prayers and meditations and positive vibes that are constantly coming our way. We feel it - it gets us through each and every day.