Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Circus Of The Universe

Today was a productive day. The main event in our family's life is the bug situation. There's now a schedule for our home to be tented and nuked. It's gonna happen on Saturday. I hope they make our house look like a Barnum & Bailey big top. At least then we could laugh a little. I'm so overwhelmed with the path that led us here that I can't bear to get into how it's taken this long to get to the nuclear solution. All I will say is that Jo Ann and I are pretty together people. We're capable of returning phone calls and dealing with complex s**t. We advocated our way through Pablo's treatment pretty damn well. Turns out the bug extermination industry is a tougher opponent than oncology. Oddly, both cancer and bed bugs are invisible opponents. I'll be glad when we have either no opponents in our lives. Hell, I'd settle for an opponent I could see. That would feel like freedom.

With a home return date to the calendar, Jo Ann and I breathed a little easier today. We've been out of our home since returning from Europe and New Hampshire. That was August 16. It's poetic that our home will be available to us again on September 16. This soothes my symmetry-loving mind. We're gonna hang at a hotel for the four or five days of the extermination process. Looking forward to that.

This bug stuff has been stressful. At just the wrong time. At the very time we thought we'd be nesting and sleeping in our own home after being away for almost a month. At the time we yearned for our sacred space, our place to weep or remember Pablo in the very place he lived. Our place to simply grieve. What we have faced is stress added to stress.

I've had a lot of time to consider what's going on. Wanna know what I've concluded? This is part of our path. This was meant to be. We are where we are in order to learn something. We are where we are because the universe has something more to teach us. Something under that circus big top needs to be ingrained in our souls. As good as it would feel right now, nobody ever said we were put on this earth to recline yknow?

We'll do that when it comes into our lives. And when it does we'll appreciate every moment of it.


Lisa said...

so true jeff! I really believe that there is a plan for all of us and you and Jo-Anne are dong a great job following your path. keep on smiling and treking down that path!
Be well,
Lisa :)

Nancy said...

As I began your post the same thought came to me. This IS where you are supposed to be at this time. The bugs are there for a reason. I hope that purpose has been served and they go visit someone else.

Remembering you all as always.

Anonymous said...

It's such a path, isn't it? Denies symmetry just as it reinforces it. Cracks you open in ways you couldn't imagine and while you're surveying the evolution, does it again. Stay strong and flexible. Sleep more than you think you need. Eat well. The show doesn't stop and demands all of you.

Unknown said...

How true! Enjoy your hotel stay - a bug-free home awaits you...
xo Lynn

Anonymous said...

I believe Pablo would have LOVED to see his home shrouded by a HUGE circus tent! He would imagine himself as the ring master...wearing his top hat and training the bed bugs to jump through hoops and walk across tight ropes in his own version of a flea circus!

Take care Jeff, and stay the course! Love Dana

Shawn Vezinaw said...

One of my favorite quotes:

When life looks like it's falling apart, it may just be falling in place.

Good luck with the bugs!

Anonymous said...

jeff to get rid of the bugs in your house sell your houser love always dad

Stephanie said...

you're a smart man..
P was one very lucky little boy.